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Posts Tagged ‘Jokes’

Top 10 Signs You’re a Fundamentalist Christian

January 7th, 2008 1 comment

10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 – You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!

6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

2 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.

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Daily Show Rips Republicans on America Values

January 17th, 2007 1 comment

This is a great video from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart discussing the bill to block online gambling.

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Bush’s Quick Escape Goes Wrong

November 20th, 2005 2 comments

Bush Door

U.S. President George W. Bush reacts as he tries to open a locked door as he leaves a news conference in Beijing November 20, 2005.

Watch the video.

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Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory

August 18th, 2005 No comments

As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held “theory of gravity” is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling. Read more…

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Google Search Failure

August 9th, 2005 1 comment

Google search the word “failure” and what do you get? The bio for Dubya on the White House website of course! Courtesy of the fellas in #wordpress

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Great Way to Sell Pizza

August 8th, 2005 No comments

Bush Pizza Ad A New Zealand pizza company featured this ad to promote thier pizza. I like it, what about you? Check out Hell Pizza Deliveries here.

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When the President Talks to God

August 7th, 2005 1 comment

Here are the hilarious lyrics from the song “When the President Talks to God” by Bright Eyes. You can download the song for free if you have iTunes. Click “more” below to read the whole song.

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women?s’ rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

Read more…

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Make Bush Fall

August 5th, 2005 No comments

Ever want to make Bush fall and hit his head over and over to try and smack some sense in him? Now you can. This is quite amusing. Bush Fall

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