Political Jackass

After reading a transcript of Bush’s speech tonight, I decided to use a little bit of satire and poetic license by comparing this war with sports. Bush being the coach, the soldiers being the home team, and the Iraqi insurgents being the opposing team. And Bush’s speech tonight was a pep rally and nothing more. Here is the satirical version of the war on Iraq…

We have a team we’ll call the Soldiers. They are playing against an opponent, the Insurgents. They would not be playing against this team had the Soldier’s coach not put them in this league. They would instead be in training for bigger unforseen tournaments at home or abroad and protecting their home town. If it wasn’t for Coach Bush, the Soldiers would be playing in planned tournaments instead of pre-emptive ones (just in case they should have to play that team in the future). Because Coach Bush is always trying to show how manly he is, he sends his players to play against teams not in the district. Yeah, the current coach of the Soldiers is a real jackass.

Coach Bush also hosts pep rallies like this one tonight and lies to his team and his team’s family members and neighbors about the real reasons why he had them go up against a team they shouldn’t even be playing. You see, this other team – the Insurgents – does not play by the rules. And they don’t care about losing a few of their players in their efforts to win, as long as they put as many players on the Soldiers team out of commission. They are fighting because they didn’t like when Coach Bush forced them to play against the Soldiers. And the Soldiers must play against this team or risk being thrown off the team and be dishonored at home.

In conclusion, there is no reason these two teams should be playing. The Insurgents had never wanted to play the Soldiers before, but the coach of the Soldiers forced them to. And now the Soldiers are paying for it dearly and Coach Bush thinks that the home town should accept it. The home town did accept it at first because Coach Bush told them that if they didn’t play against the Insurgents then they would come and kill them all with big nuclear bombs and deadly gases. However, as time has progressed the people at home found out the coach lied about this and they have realized this game should never have began. And they ALL (not just supporters of the coach) care so much for the Soldiers that they want them to come home and they have began doubting Coach Bush and the reasons for this tournament.

I say fire the fucking coach.

CBC